Most moms expect to feel a huge range of emotions after giving birth. You’ve just squeezed something roughly the size of a small watermelon from your body. Your boobs now resemble cantaloupes. What is it with all these melons? Your body is tired and sore. Emotions run the gamut from really high to super low. You find yourself weeping with happiness, then sadness, then happiness again.
But what about having feelings of actual anger, feeling mad rather than sad, and being extremely anxious? It might be postpartum rage, sometimes also called Mom Rage.
Postpartum Rage is rarely discussed. I had never even heard of it until my daughter-in-law talked about it. It isn’t often screened for, and since a lot of women haven’t heard about it either, the numbers are difficult to track, but many studies show that 1 out of 8 or 9 moms suffers from postpartum depression, so most likely more moms than we think also suffer from Postpartum Rage.
The symptoms can mimic normal postpartum recovery and emotions, but are generally on a larger, more intense scale. Difficulty sleeping, irritability, feeling powerless, feeling out of control, social isolation, lack of interest in the things you used to enjoy, excessive crying, excessive worrying, and feeling worthless are some of the symptoms.
It can also be bursts of anger, being easily triggered, and feeling resentful toward your baby or significant other. As well as extreme irritability and/or having a short fuse. And it is very often feeling alone or lonely, struggling to adjust to the new role of motherhood, and feeling unsupported.
If any of this sounds like you, first know that you are not alone, and know that it may just be something called postpartum rage. Know that if nobody else hears you or understands you, the moms at Mum Speak do.
IF your feelings of mad over sad become so big that you have urges to hit, punch, or throw things, please, please, please seek help from a medical professional or therapist. If your healthcare provider doesn’t listen or doesn’t understand, please find someone who does. Reach out to other mothers. Ask them about their experiences, ask them for advice about how to handle things, and ask for recommendations about who you can talk to for help.
If your rage symptoms are more mild (mild rage almost sounds like an oxymoron) then you may be able to handle these emotions by prioritizing sleep and good nutrition, or by taking a short walk outdoors. Ask for help and accept that help when people show up for you. Reach out to your circle to request prayers. The enemy loves to whisper untruths in our ears to make us think we aren’t good moms. Prayer is a powerful weapon against this.
And take Cayden’s advice and remind yourself that you are not an angry person, this is not your character. Reminding yourself of this truth can help to reset your attitude and calm the rage.
Being a mom is hard work. Even on the best days the emotions can be big. Mom’s just want to be their best and do their best. If your emotions feel too big or out of control, be gentle with yourself, and activate your “village” for help.
