So. . . .Mom Labels. The labels that moms give to other moms to describe their “momming.” There are all kinds of labels, and different people describe the labels slightly differently, but still the main labels right now, in 2024, are Crunchy Moms, Silky Moms, and Scrunchy Moms (the hybrid combination of Crunchy and Silky Moms).
The following are generalizations of the Mom Labels. There is no hard and fast definition for any Mom Label, but we’ve compiled a list of characteristics that most moms in that camp possess.
Crunchy Moms are known for their natural/unmedicated births, They breastfeed exclusively, use cloth diapers, and “wear” their babies in slings or carriers. They don’t do vaccines or circumcisions. They co-sleep, make their own baby food, and homeschool. Crunchy moms are environmentally aware, and prioritize organic, natural, holistic care over medications and other interventions.
Silky Moms, by contrast, choose medicated births, formula feeding babies, and having babies sleep in cribs rather than co-sleeping. Silky Moms favor the “cry it out” method of getting children to sleep through the night. They use disposable diapers, agree to all the vaccines and medications, and allow screen time even in young children. They are considered “modern moms” who use science, medicine, and technology to aid in parenting. Sometimes called soft parenting, thus the name Silky Mom.
Scrunchy Moms are a hybrid of the Crunchy Mom and the Silky Mom, picking and choosing characteristics from each type of mom by what fits them best. Scrunchy Moms are known for their “go with the flow” “trust your gut” attitudes.
But why the labels? Do these labels help us or hurt us as we go about our “momming?” We would say both.
On one hand, a label helps you find community and a place where like minded moms can support each other. If you have a question or concern, you can turn to moms with the same label for advice about what to do.
On the other hand, those labels can often pit moms against each other. If a Silky Mom posts about her use and liking of formula feeding her baby, she can be attacked by Crunchy Moms who champion breastfeeding. And “cry it out” Silky Moms can come down hard on sleep sharing Crunchy Moms. Scrunchy Moms can get it from both Crunchy Moms and Silky Moms because they aren’t crunchy enough or silky enough.
We’ve all seen moms come after other moms on social media and our hearts ache for these mamas. By and large, moms are just doing their absolute best and giving their all to their children. No matter how that happens to look for them and for their families. Why would other moms, the ones who should know better than any that we are all just doing our best, come down on other moms? Why wouldn’t we support each other in our trials and our successes?
Because as a seasoned mom who has been at this for a while, I can tell you, that in the end everyone really turns out ok. By the time they are adults, you can’t really tell which kids had which type of mom. If you line up my breastfed, sleep-shared, disposable diapered, mostly organic, barely medicated kids next to formula fed, cry-it-out, cloth diapered, conventionally fed, highly vaxxed and medicated kids, you probably couldn’t tell who came from which background. In the end everyone we know turned out well. They have grown into beautiful, intelligent, socially able adults. So we don’t need to attack other moms. Pretty much ever. Outside of abuse, which should always be called out and reported, moms really just need to know that other moms are supporting them. Raising kids is hard enough without worrying about what other moms think or say about them.
So as moms, can we all just agree that moms are just doing their best, and be their cheerleaders instead of their antagonists? Can we just admire them for trying their hardest and stand up and defend moms even if we disagree? Can we forget the labels in front of the word mom? And just see each other as moms, trying our hardest to be the best moms we can be.
